My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
