It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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