I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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