Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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