If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
