my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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