I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
