Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
