meet me or not, i'm out of control
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
