I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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