At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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