4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Sorry about my life...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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