yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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