I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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