I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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