Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
