I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you still have your period?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
only if we run a train.
done.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
