I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
