Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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