She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
