he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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