you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
