This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
