Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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