My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
