so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I've blown a few things in my day
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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