She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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