Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
