yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
