turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
