I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I AM VODKA MAN
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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