I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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