im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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