PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
