i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
