uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
