I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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