You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
