I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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