Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
