in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
How does one acquire holy water?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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