And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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