He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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