'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
