He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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