tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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