Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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