...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
