I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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