my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
