see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
