i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
