You can't special order awesome
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
